Why I started this blog

Hello world, and people out there both supportive and nonsupportive My name is Rhonda Jones and I am the mother of six children.  The reason I started this blog is to interact with and even challenge ideas about the new accept your body movement.  First, I would like to say that I am a full figured woman and I have been probably after the birth of my 4th child, 16 years ago.  I am about 246 pounds and I’m 5’7″ tall.  Not extreamly obese but getting there if I keep going how I am. 

I was all for the “accept your body movement” for many years after going on a crazy diet for a month.  I was eating maybe one half a tortilla for lunch with 1/4 cup full of beans and fasting on and off through the month to loose weight.  I was married to a man who wouldn’t have it any other way than me looking how I did when we first got married (a size 12 or smaller).  I was only 180 lbs. and I didn’t look so bad after having 5 children.  Well, I got down to about 180 lbs.  About that time (about 9 yrs. ago) I came across this book:  Learning Curves living your life in full and with style by Michelle West.  This was my first book I ever read on body image/body acceptance.  And I loved the idea and the freedom that this introduced into my life!  Well, sadly, my husband did NOT like my new ideas and he demanded that I loose even more weight.  But I really didn’t want to put myself on starvation mode again.  Then I got pregnant and put on about 50 more pounds!  Soon after the delivery of my sixth child husband withdrew from me, and he started wanting a divorce .  It put me through a nervous breakdown, I was hospitalized and put on medication .  At the hospital I lost down to 190 but put it back on and then some and I am now 245 give or take.

Soon after our divorce I joined a size acceptance group and got encouragement to accept my size.  While I agreed with most of what they said and I liked going to a place that didn’t “judge” you because of your size, I soon realized that while many of them seemingly *had* accepted themselves at their current size/weight there was an underlying lack of concern about their health, many times even denying that being so overweight/obese was even a danger to their health.  I went a long with it for a while, but I could not get it out of my head that I wasn’t going to live that long if I didn’t *do something* to improve myself.  I was off and on with this group over the past year.  Then something unexpected happened….

I went to the doctor to have some ordinary blood tests done and found out I had high blood sugar, elevated cholesterol, elevated triglycerides.  They put me on medication immediatly to get my triglycerides and cholesterol down and combat what was obvious signs of diabetes.  That was last October of 2012.  Just recently they have diagnosed me with diabetes.  All ready I have had numbness and tingling in my fingertips and wounds heal alot slower.  I don’t want this disease!!!  While I am totaly against going on another diet (because as many of you know diets don’t work) I know I *need* to do something.  In may I was diagnosed with full fledged diabetes.  At age 45!  Me?  with diabetes?  I didn’t do much from October to May , still stuck in the mindset that I should “just accept my body”.  Well, it’s not a sin to care about your health. 

 Loving your body also means taking care of yourself, your temple that God has given you, even if it means excercising and having the proper diet, which some have totaly aboned on the above mentioned group.  And they have the attitude that it’s none of anybody’s business what they eat and how much they eat and what they weigh, all at their loved one’s expense because they are the ones who will enevitably have to take care of them when they can no longer walk. 

I’m currently looking for a lifestyle change, one that I can follow for life and not just a couple of weeks until I loose X amount of weight.  My focus is on health, not weight loss, even though I wouln’t mind loosing about 100 pounds.  My new husband has been trying to encourage me to loose weight/get some excercise.  When we first married we lifted weights together.  I have started walking for 30 min. in the morning.  Not much but it’s a start.  I’m going to see a diatician and a doctor maybe of natural medicine to help me come up with a food plan that I can loose weight with. 

The sad thing is that while I reported to above group that I did not want to accept the diagnosis, that I was going to *do something* to improve my health they all accused me of negligence.  They have settled into their little ruts and *no one* seems to want to change their current situation or do a thing to improve themselves.  They are negative towards change and improvement and possitive about accepting their bodies, some of them over 400 lbs. without the slightest hint of concern for their health.  I want to be a part of a group that cares about themselves, and that would include their bodies too.  I don’t want to be a part of a group that has these self defeating attitudes about themselves, “well even if I do loose weight I’ll just gain it right back.”  so they don’t even try because they have already defeated themselves before they even begin.  I’m *NOT* going to give up like they have.  I’m going to *do* something about my health, my body, and my life.

Rhonda Jones

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6 thoughts on “Why I started this blog”

  1. Hi Rhonda, do you mind if I follow you? I want to commend you for taking the first step in taking control of your health! 30 minutes of walking is better than nothing!

    I am not a mother yet, nor have I ever been overweight, but i have definitely been that unhealthy average person. Most people would ask me why I bothered going to the gym, I would tell them that although I looked “fine”, I ate poorly and had no energy. I decided to exercise because I wanted to feel better and also have a better future in my old age free of pains, osteoporosis and arthritis (for the most part).

    Whenever you are ready, I highly suggest reading the book The New Rules of Lifting for Women. It completely changed my view of the gym and it taught me how to eat better and it made me stronger!

    I wish you all the best!

    ~Melissa

    1. Hi Melissa,

      Thank you for your responce. It is good that you are excercising. I’m glad to see there is someone out there who cares about their body. People on a certain size acceptance group started insulting me and my husband for wanting to change and calling husband an abuser when all he did was encourage me to start taking care of myself. What made me draw the line is when called me the b. word and telling me things like they can eat as much as they want when they and what they want and nothing is going to happen to them because diabetes is “hereditary” even claiming that if they don’t have that genetic makeup for diabetes then they could eat junk food etc…until it comes out their nostrils and they STILL will not get the disease because it’s hereditary.

      I read a couple of books on the subject and I was turned off because while they advocate acceptance they refuse to admit that their obesity has anything to do with their health because healthy people come in all sizes and it doesn’t matter what you feed your body and how much you feed your body. I had to leave after about a year and 1/2 because they only wanted to hear from people who were accepting of everything they claimed to believe. And also after being diagnosed with diabetes 2 mos. ago I *KNOW* I need to make some changes.

      I would be interested in that book and I need all the info. I can get my hands on.

      Rhonda

  2. Hi Rhonda, I too was overweight and had a couple of breakdowns. I believe stress made me overweight. The stress of my neglectful childhood and then the stress of my controlling husband – this caused my low self esteem and a lack of self love. I craved food for comfort whenever I was hurting – most times I couldn’t even figure out why I was hurting because the people around me emotionally hurt me all the time. I became addicted to sugar – sugar is like a legal drug for some people. It release opiates which dulls pain, all kinds of pain, physical and emotional. I think I craved love and kindness really. As I’m healing I’m learning to love myself, nurture myself and emotionally and physically take care of myself. That means separating myself from hurtful people while I get stronger and then learning to set boundaries with them (family…). I spent my whole life nurturing others – sounds like you have too with 6 babes and the funny thing is nobody really respect you unless you take care of yourself first. Keep taking good care of your mind, body and soul :o)

    1. Thank you SilverGirl, I’m glad I come across your blog. It’s good to hear from others who have the same idea about taking care of ourselves…..our whole selves.

      As much as it hurts (because you get attached) I have found the divorce the most possitive thing that ever happened to me because it was a marriage filled with abuse and hate. I was so happy once I got away from the abuse, although I didn’t believe it at the time. It’s not encouraging either when you have someone *forcing* you to loose weight rather than being loving and supportive no matter what you look like on the outside. It has really boosted my self esteem just to be away from that man. He obviously wants to be miserable-let him do it alone. My depression left me once he got rid of me which was an extra bonus. LOL Take care of yourself and remember you are worth more than 10,000 sparrows to God. Thanks for taking the time to read my blog.

      Your friend,
      Rhonda

    2. Hi SilverGirl,

      Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. Yes, taking care of *all* of ourselves should be our goal.

      Divorce is tuff, but I found mine to be a blessing in disguise. My depression left once I realized it was final. LOL He wanted to be miserable-let him do it alone.

      What I learned from that marriage was not to be too hasty when marrying someone. And I should have left the marriage long ago instead of dragging it out 14 years.

      Im more worth to God than 10,000 sparrows and so are you, no matter what my X thinks. I look at the divorce now as the best thing that ever happened to me. LOL

      Blessings. Don’t know how long you’ve been divorced but just stay in there and keep taking care of yourself. You deserve it.

      your friend,
      Rhonda

  3. Thanks Rhonda,

    Good for us – we finally know our true worth!

    I thought I was the failure… I looked like the failure to the outside world, but I now see clearly how bad, abusive and stressful it all was.

    I was never a failure, just trying to cope in dire circumstances.

    Been divorced 4 years, and recovering from autoimmune disease and C-PTSD.

    I loved with all my heart and not my head.

    If there’s a next time …I will be wiser and use them both! :o)

    Blessings to you too.

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